This story doesn’t really start on day one. This story has been spinning my whole entire life. Day one is simply the beginning of a new page in this story; a turning point. Day one marks the day that I decided that digging into my relationship with food was more important than ignoring the problem and hoping it would solve itself (spoiler alert: it didn’t).
My relationship with food is complicated, and it always has been.
Here are a few things that are true about me:
- I love Jesus, I am a new creation, and I desire to honor Him with the way I live my life.
- I am passionate about healthy eating. To say that I think it’s important would be a huge understatement.
- I believe that food, real food, can heal our bodies in life-changing ways.
- I have three fourths of a bachelor’s degree in Human Biology, with an emphasis in dietetics (nutrition).
- I actually believe that even the things I was beginning to learn in my nutrition classes are not the healthiest way to nourish my body.
- I believe that the best way to eat for health is to eat real foods, and to seek out nutrients in those food choices.
- I actually really like, and enjoy eating, real, nutrient dense foods.
Here are a few other things that are true about me:
- I eat sugar like it’s my job. Seriously. Most days.
- And refined carbs.
- I actually don’t enjoy eating the junky foods very much at all.
- I use food as a coping mechanism, as a way to try to fix my pain, instead of turning to Jesus.
- I am overweight, to an unhealthy degree.
- I do not practice discipline in my eating choices.
Does it hurt your brain a little bit, trying to fit the second list together with the first list? Because it definitely hurts mine!
It also hurts my pride. There’s a lot of shame and contempt wrapped up this story, where shame and contempt do not belong. (Shame and contempt never belong in our stories.)
And that’s where this blog comes in. This blog, as I am starting it, has 3 intended (hoped for?) purposes. This blog is a place of accountability for myself. It’s a place where I know I will be sharing what has happened each day; the good, the bad, the complicated. It’s a place where I hope to process and foster change, to turn my shame and contempt into kindness and vulnerability, as I stare my food story straight in the face instead of running away, ice cream in hand. And, it’s a place where, Lord willing, my story will do Kingdom work.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17
I am a follower of Christ, and I have placed my hope and trust in the saving grace of Jesus. What I know about my story is that it’s really only a tiny part of His story, and what I know about God’s heart is that He uses our stories to His glory. Here is where I will be obedient to share what He is doing to change me, to heal me, in this part of my story.
This is the story of how I partnered with God in His business of redeeming, restoring, and glorifying. It’s the story of how a huge piece of my ugly is made beautiful. And, most simply, it’s the story of a girl who struggles in bondage to her relationship with food, an overflow from the condition of her heart, and how she learns to eat in freedom.